Steelers vs. Ravens: Bring On More Birds, Please

Troy Polamalu: To the House, Bitches...

Oh, it's a beautiful thing. Even without The Most Hated Man in Baltimore, Hines Ward, the Steelers managed to outslug the Marlo Stanfield mob (whoops I mean the Ravens) for a second trip in four years back to the Super Bowl. 

I really don't think it gets any sweeter than beating Ray Lewis and the Ravens to go back to the big dance. Every time they make the playoffs, Lewis starts talking shit like it's divine providence that this will finally be the Ravens' year again. After Willis McGahee got laid-the-fuck-out (more on that later), CBS shot to the sidelines, and there's Ray Lewis, prayin' like a motherfucker and not raising his head for three straight minutes. Honestly, I thought him and Terrell Suggs might go back out on the field and start some Last Boy Scout shit, but no.

My take on the game:

• Joe Flacco ain't no joke. He might have crumpled under the pressure, but I mean damn, he was going up against the only defense better than his own. My hope now is that Suggs takes a big payday from another team in the offseason (he's a free agent; Ray Lewis and Ed Reed, too, I think)

• Limas Sweed is the new Dwight Stone(hands). I'm not sure if he thought he was going to garner sympathy by just laying in the end zone after dropping a pass my little sister could have hauled in (she knows enough to keep her eyes on the fucking ball), but he gets none from me. Luckily, he laid out Corey Ivy better than your local funeral director with a fantastic block in the fourth quarter to make up for it.

• I didn't know Mewelde Moore was a little hobbled, but that's good; it's the only excuse I'll accept for leaving Willie Parker out there play after play (Some random ESPN commentator: "Parker was gonna get 100 yards on 99 carries"). Hopefully they'll be able to balance the run game a little better against Weezy and the Cardinals.

• Speaking of Weezy, gotta hand it to the Cardinals. Not for beating the Eagles (in the immortal words of Pittsburgh media personality Guy Junker, "A Philly team choking is not news."), but for getting that franchise into the big game, period. Larry Fitzgerald worries me. I can't think of anyone in the Steelers' secondary who is tall enough or good enough to surround Fitzgerald without laying hands on him all day long.

• Can't shit on the secondary too much, though. They're the main reason the Steelers have gotten this far. Used to be that any team game-planning against Pittsburgh basically all formulated the same plan: Pass. A lot. I've spent many a Sunday cursing DeShea Townsend, and I don't think I've done that once this year.

And even though an all-Pennsylvania Super Bowl would be pretty cool, I'm glad it's the Cards and not the Eagles. I know I wouldn't want to sit next to an Eagles fan (or really, anyone from Philly) if I didn't have to. Now Steelers fans won't have to worry about that.

Now, let's talk about what I'm sure Baltimore fans will call "a dirty hit" on Willis McGahee by Ryan Clark. First off, before you can even begin to accuse the Steelers of playing dirty, let's talk about the dickhead helmet-spear Leonhard put on Roethlisberger in the first half, well after he had thrown the ball, and that fat-ass Asian guy ripping Roethlisberger's throwing arm for no good reason around the same time.

The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel's recap article said Clark "could be fined for initiating helmet-to-helmet contact with McGahee," but that's the biggest bunch of horseshit. Any idiot can see that, on the replay, Clark led with his shoulder. McGahee, instead of trying to make a move, just ducked, AND LEANED RIGHT INTO CLARK'S HELMET. I mean hey, I'm glad to see that he's gonna be alright, but he brought that shit on himSELF.

You can tell it wasn't a dirty hit, because if it HAD been, Ray Lewis probably would run onto the field and stabbed somebody in the chest.

Bring on more birds, please...