Steelers vs. Browns: The End of the Season is Nigh...

The proper words fail me...

So much for any chance of a Steelers Super Bowl repeat.

I started getting that sinking feeling last week with the Oakland loss. It was a slight tickle in the back of my brain when we dropped one to Kansas City, but I wrote that off as a fluke, even though really it was yet another case of Defense - Polamalu = FUBAR. And you could even rationalize The Big Gradkowski's win, what with the CBS commentators yapping on and on about Oakland being a real scrapper of a team.

But a loss to the always-hated-but-more-recently-not-even-so-much-of-a-rival-anymore Cleveland Browns, in which Roethlisberger was sacked five times in the first half? In which the Steelers put up a pathetic six points against the worst team in the NFL?

Unacceptable. To be perfectly honest, I can't even give an intelligent account of why I think they lost the game. I was too busy watching the Penguins come back twice against Montreal. And I gotta say, with the Steelers season basically over at this point barring at least three miracles, including a Lost-style plane crash involving the entire Baltimore Ravens team and David Garrard lapsing into a spontaneous sleep-induced coma, it's nice to have hockey. I haven't watched it since I was probably 15, and got back into it during the Stanley Cup runs.

As for the Steelers, I'm not sure what to say. It will be great to have Polamalu back next season, but he's getting older, and with two knee injuries in one season, I hate to say it, but I don't know how much longer he can be freewheeling around like a maniac. They have to get better players for the secondary. Bryant McFadden was a great corner during the Super Bowl run, and unfortunately, Ike Taylor's star-turn year in 2008 looks to have been a high-water mark. Tyrone Carter has done his best to try and fill Polamalu's shoes, but he's a second-stringer at best. William Gay? That's a gots-to-go situation. He fell apart trying to step up with Troy out.

On offense - and makes me weep to say it - I think Fast Willie Pee is probably moving on in one way or another. I love him, and he made me scream like a little girl in Super Bowl XL, but since the broken leg, he's just not the same. Mendenhall stepped up just the way we all hoped he would, and I'd love to see Colbert pick up a big bruiser-style back to set up Mendenhall and Moore. The receiving game is solid. I don't know if Hines is going to retire or not, but Mike Wallace and Santonio have the potential to be the best wideout combo in the league, between their shared speed and skill.

What I'd hope for in the off-season:

• At least one solid O-lineman to shore things up. Get Willie Colon outta there.

• A bigass running back, like Lendale White or Brandon Jacobs (and not ONE of them, one LIKE them)

• Help in the secondary

I've come to the unfortunate realization that the Steelers' special teams is just fucked. No matter what. They just can't get it done. I have no possible solution.

With the injuries, it's hard to call this a "hangover" season. The Steelers are just a mediocre team in a year when there are a lot of better-than-average teams, particularly in the AFC.

GO PENS!!!

Fisher Price: My First DJ Mix

"He'll tweak ya' ass across the crossfade..." - Beastie Boys

So I highly recommend this Hercules DJ Console RMX. Just like Garageband fulfilled my decade-long dream of creating beats, this digital console is fulfilling my other lifelong dream of being able to mix and blend it.

I realize that, strictly speaking, as a relative hip-hop purist, I should hate this machine and call it a monstrosity. You're supposed to DJ on two Technics 1200s. But what can I say? It's way too late for me to start a vinyl collection. And I'm not out to win the next DMC Championship. I'm not going to be an Invisibl Skratch Pikl.

But for what I want to do - be able to create, blend and mix banging mixes of hip-hop, dancehall, reggae, etc. - this console is perfect. My only real complaint is that the "scratch" option leaves a bit to be desired. Unlike a regular 45, where you scratch a record and stop it with your hand, the RMX console doesn't stop when you do; it just continues the record immediately after the scratch. For someone like me who doesn't have real crossfader dexterity yet for that type of thing, it's kind of annoying.

But again, I'm not looking to be a show DJ; I'm trying to create a danceable mix that I'd actually like to hear, as opposed to a bunch of Top 40 rap that just fades one track into another.

I have been able to achieve some minor scratch-based mixing. For example, I can create a continuous juggle of the Guru sample in Ghettosocks' "Pink Lemonade," and you can make a nice little break out of Cyne's "Plight About Now" and Steve Spacek's "Dollar," which both use the same sample. (And you could blend in the only Jeezy song I enjoy as well, "Circulate")

Basically, what I'm saying is that my already-limited social life is now over, thanks to this mixer, unless I can get some gigs DJing in the area. Here's hoping...



Steelers vs. Raiders: Me and Coach Have the Same Feeling Right Now

"I think I just threw up in my mouth."

I have found a name for my pain, and it is Ryan Mundy.

True, I'm paraphrasing Jack Nicholson's Joker from the original Batman movie, but it seems apropos. A cruel joke has been played on the 2008 Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers. How else to explain a four-game skid that includes a loss to the Kansas City Chiefs and A SHOOTOUT LOSS to the Oakland Raiders?

In amongst his many inane ramblings, I believe I've heard Jim Nantz refer to Polamalu as "the linchpin of the Steelers defense," and it's hard to argue with that. He's missed seven games this season; the Steelers have lost six of those games, and they've given up fourth-quarter leads in at least four. Ty Carter is a serviceable replacement, and has even shown a few flashes of Polamalian vision on the field.

But William Gay is not up to the task. My boy said he'd settle for Gay putting on a new pair of cleats, but his play has been suspect for most of this season. And Ryan Mundy was definitely not up to the task, seeing as how in the space of about three minutes, he:

A) Knocked out William Gay

B) Committed a crucial interference penalty to set the Raiders up to take the lead, and then

C) Gave up the game-winning TD to a rookie Raiders receiver, and not even one named Darius Heyward-Bey--

*OOGMF* ... sorry, I haven't had much to eat, and I just dry-heaved a little there. In fairness, Ike Taylor wasn't exactly "the tits" either. But the Steelers were in a decent position to hold 'em when Mundy went headhunting on a receiver who had already dropped the ball.

Six losses doesn't look like it's going to cut the AFC playoff mustard this season. The Jaguars and Broncos both won today, so no help there... When I looked at the schedule back in August, it looked great! Now? Not so much. Packers, Dolphins and the Ravens' rematch are all still on the horizon, and the hell Coach Epps promised we'd bring is quickly freezing over.

Any other year, I'd call this Thursday-night conference game against the Browns a no-brainer, even on short rest, but who the hell knows at this point? The only reason I can think of for Polamalu to be back is if the Steelers have a realistic chance of getting a wild-card spot. And there's really no reason to think the Browns can't put at least 17 points on the board, now that the ball isn't bouncing off Braylon Edwards' stone-hands anymore. They put up 23 against the Chargers, whose defense is certainly performing on a par with - if not better than -- the Steelers'.

An astute caller to Stan & Guy last week said "every time Sepulveda pins the opposing team inside the 20 during the fourth quarter, I go and get another glass of whiskey," and I'm inclined to agree. This late-season skid has been like the Bad Old Days all over again, when no one could run on the Steelers' D, but everyone had a field-day passing. Add the special-teams woes, and it's the '06 Super Bowl Hangover come back around. Although I don't know that it's a "hangover" as much as it's the devastating loss of Polamalu. He really covers a lot of ground out there, and he has an eye for what's happening on the field better than almost any defensive player I've seen. It's hard to admit, as a born-and-bred Steeler fan, that defense is the problem, but it really is. The offense sputtered a little today, but they put up points when it mattered, didn't have crucial turnovers and gave 'em the lead with the clock running out.

Matter of fact, I'm actually a little numb to the loss right now. I'm actually a little glad to see that hometown kid Bruce Gradkowski had a decent day. Who am I kidding, though? The Raiders scored like 2o percent of their season's touchdowns in this game.

This one hurts. Bad.

A Few Day-After Thoughts on the 'Sons' Season 2 Finale


One thing I started thinking about today - but which didn't occur to me last night - is the parallel between Clay and Zoebelle over the full season-two story arc.

Both of them were basically putting on a front the whole season: Clay was trying to keep a lid on the Donna mess, and Zoebelle was not only selling out his racist buddies, but also cooperating with the authorities. I might write more on this later....

Sons of Anarchy S02E13: 'Na Trilóbloidí'... My Pathetic Attempt at Blogging the Season 2 Finale

Are these episode titles Latin? I'll be honest, I just don't wanna do the research... [Editor's note: I did the research... it's Gaelic for 'The Troubles']...

And now, my pathetic attempt at live-blogging the Sons of Anarchy season 2 finale:

• 10:10 p.m. - Lookin' good so far. Kind of surprised that Zoebelle is an FBI rat. Didn't really see that coming. I can see the practicality of his guns-for-drugs plan, but this doesn't make as much sense... can't wait to see what the Mayans are gonna do while they're visiting.

• 10:12 p.m. - I really hate these Windows 7 commercials. Really.

• 10:15 p.m. - To be honest, I'm kind of disappointed in Henry Rollins' role this season. He plays the stone-cold Aryan hard-on well enough, but I think he had the depth to put a little more meat on the character, and he was really just sort of a dumb thug the whole season.

• 10:17 p.m. - That father and son outside the store are dressed exactly the same. That's kinda creepy.

• 10:23 p.m. - DAMN! So that's why cons volunteer to work in the library. Good for you, Otto. You deserve a little payback.

• 10:27 p.m. - NICE. Lt. Dangle guesting on The League. F/X is leading the way hands-down for quality cable shows, and the Always Sunny/League combo is probably the best hour of comedic television since Seinfeld and, uh, whatever came after Seinfeld... also, Nip/Tuck is just too awful. Ever since season three, it's all been downhill. When I tuned in for the season 4 finale, a.k.a. "Rent" With Scalpels, I'm pretty sure I puked in my mouth a little bit.

• 10:45 p.m. - "Where are we going?" "Forward, sweetheart." Yeeeeah. Git 'er, Gemma.

• 10:47 p.m. - OHHHH, nice move, Stahl. Not only could he not shoot her, but he just gave the gun up? What a puss--BWAAAAAA!!! Crotch punch on a girl! She deserves it, but still, that's a party foul. She shouldn't have killed his ass, though.

• 10:55 p.m. - Would Zoebelle's daughter REALLY not have heard a motorcycle coming up the block? I want this nasty little bitch to get her comeuppance, but c'mon now... also, Half-Sack, this is a NEED-TO-KNOW SITUATION for the club.... Aw, man, I thought she was comin' to the Irish kid's house. This is gonna go badly...

• 10:57 p.m. - Oh shit. EVERYBODY'S armed! ... Is Stahl just gonna let this slide? Gemma: "Bloody day for both of us." True dat. Half-Sack, pleeease phone this shit in.

• 11 p.m. - Nope. I guess she's not gonna let this slide. Unless she wants to set it up so it looks like Edmund killed the girl. That way she can get herself off the hook... here it comes. OH SHIT! She's gonna set Gemma up for the whole thing?? Edmund's dad is gonna go after the Sons on this. Gawd-DAMN, I hate this Stahl bitch!

• 11:02 p.m. - Dammit, Half-Sack, what did I say? NEED TO KNOW. If you'd have called this in, some Sons backup might have been able to help handle this. Now it's all bad, and you're leading the trouble straight home...

• 11:12 p.m. - Why do I have a feeling that Jax-Chibs-Opie is going to be the breakaway faction if there's a season three?

• 11:14 p.m. - HALF-SACK! NOOO! I'm gonna miss him, for sure. He was the source of many of the show's funniest moments.... Surely this Irishman's not gonna kill a baby on F/X...

• 11:15 p.m. - This Justified show should be called Shane & the Sheriff. Walton Goggins and Sheriff Bullock as a couple of loose-cannon rednecks? I'm down for that.

• 11:21 p.m. - Nice. Hale left Zoebelle out to dry.... 11:22 p.m. ... And now they're just gonna leave him? Not let ANYONE go in and deal with it??

• 11:24 p.m. - "Well.... we.... adjust and we adapt." Is Zoebelle gonna be back next season? I think he's probably had just about enough of Charming.

PREDICTIONS FOR NEXT SEASON:

• Gemma is going to take refuge with another charter. Either that, or she's gonna let Unser keep driving her until he dies from the cancer.

• The Irishman is gonna take Jax's son to Mexico. A chase through Mexico could make for a nice two-to-three-episode arc. If Unser takes Gemma that direction, it might could all come together very neatly. I can see a tie-in with the Mayan charters south of the border as well. I can't imagine they're too happy about having several members gunned down because of the Sons/Zoebelle beef.

• At some point next season, Clay's arthritis is going to get the better of him. He's going to have to officially pass the crown. I can see a nice slow-mo shot near the end of season three with Jax leading the crew away as Clay and Piney lean back on a Teller-Morrow bench and clink a couple beers together.

• Hale unconsciously settles into Unser's old role. He comes to appreciate the good the Sons do, in spite of their other negligible activities. I can see him passing by in the squad car during that slo-mo shot I mentioned above.

FREE DOWNLOAD: The Beat Doctor's Abstract Mix

Blast off into the abstract-soul stratosphere...

Click here to download a 22-minute mix of abstract soul, off-kilter jazz and general spacey R&B weirdness, featuring everyone from Eric Dolphy and VLooper to Koushik, Black Moth Super Rainbow, Exile, 14KT, the Heliocentrics and more. As a special Christmas bonus, I also included two recent remixes of Biggie's "Thangz Done Changed" and "Brooklyn's Finest," with Jay-Z.

There's also a super-special holiday extra, an original track penned by none other than my lovely-but-questionably-musically-talented fiancee, MC Aub Zee. It's a three-part suite that somehow manages to only be 1:30, pieced together using three of my beats, and entitled, "Dance: How-To Jam." I really have no explanation for it, other than, listen and laugh. I know I did.

Download for free courtesy of YouSendIt. The link is good until Dec. 8.

Sons of Anarchy S02E11: 'Service'

His is much better-looking than the plastic one I used on Halloween... oh well...

Okay, so I skipped nine episodes when I had intended to blog the whole season, but what can I say? I just... didn't have much to say, I suppose. I will say that these last couple episodes have finally gotten me emotionally involved in this season the way I was most of the first one and during the first episode of this second one. It was gut-wrenching to watch Tig following the truck, knowing what was going to happen but hoping it wouldn't.

The spectre of the the Nation coming to town had all kinds of nasty implications, and they have indeed done some nasty, evil things, but I just haven't been as involved in this season. I care about what happens to Jax, but even Tara is hard to generate a lot of sympathy for.

As the weight of keeping her rape to herself has continued to push Gemma further and further down a dark hole - she was right a couple of episodes back... she should have brought this up earlier, just like she told Chibs at the end of last night's show. I'm not gonna say she's directly responsible for much of the bloodshed that followed the season premiere, but you saw how quickly the Jax/Clay rift healed when she finally got it out.

Speaking of getting it out, I can't believe Clay gave Tig those shrooms. He should have known better. I knew the second he ate 'em that he was gonna end up spilling the secret to Opie - who took it in remarkable stride, by the way. I thought he showed quite a bit restraint with Tig and the ATF, and a good shaming was just what Agent Stahl needed. She just blew into this little tow, fucked the deputy sheriff, tried to tear the town's tightest-knit, most dangerous family apart, and got an innocent woman killed.

Regardless, it's great to see the fam more or less back together - except for crazy-drunk-ass Piney, who it appears is still with the program - and to see them finally taking Jax's advice and doing some PLANNING... and it didn't take too much planning to figure out what the Nation was up to and how to hurt them. I'd like to see Zoebelle's daughter get some comeuppance; she helped put this whole thing in motion in the first place.

Love me some Titus Welliver. He was great in Deadwood, and even though it's tough to get though that thick-ass brogue sometimes, I like him here as well. The preview next week of every gang in northern L.A. pointing gats at one another looks great. Two episodes left!