On the Road in Orlando: Day 3

That's right... there are live ducks at the bar in my hotel. They may even be treated better than the guests, which would be pretty impressive, considering the level of service here...

A few interesting scenes from the last day or so:

• The chairman for my committee trying desperately to keep himself awake (unsuccessfully) throughout the course of Tuesday afternoon, topped by the journalist sleep-drooling on his conference badge in the middle of the press room.
• The reporter who wanted a new "Media" ribbon because she got food on hers. Say it with me now: "Maybe next time you could perhaps be less of a slob."
• The massive, seven-foot "Lego woman" mascot for ThermoFisher, who was walking through their press-conference line touching people's backs and generally creeping out the foreign journalists.
• The PR lady who just can't understand why things aren't exactly the way she wants, when she wants, despite her terminally-vague "instructions."

More to come...

On the Road in Orlando, Pt. 1

So I've made it sunny Florida, although at present it's not exactly sunny and warm. It's been in the low 60s, which is a little chilly for this time of year, but I'll definitely take it over dirty snow piles and 30-degree weather back up north.

Met a very nice lady on the plane and our chat helped distract me from the brat a dozen rows behind us, who had to have screamed "I DON'T WANT TO!" about six bazillion times between Philly and Florida. I now have a strong feeling that children should be stowed with the luggage.

For anyone who doesn't know, I am down here as part of the Pittsburgh Conference on Analytical Chemistry and Spectroscopy. But fret not, Faithful Listeners. I won't be trading in the podcast microphone for a pocket protector anytime soon. My father has been one of the conference organizers since '93, so I get to tag along, volunteer for a few hours a day and then spend the rest of my time doing whatever I want...

...which yesterday included watching the US/Canada gold-medal hockey game...

I gotta say, all in all, it was a fantastic game. When the US was down 2-0, I was taking comfort in the knowledge that, if Canada lost, the entire nation would crumble, but if the US lost, I would feel bad for about 10 minutes and then forget all about it as I look forward to NCAA conference tourneys and March Madness. But then Zach Parise had to go and tie it with 23 seconds left, and of course I jumped up off the couch screaming and clapping.

So it was a real letdown when Crosby slipped the game-winner past Ryan Miller. And even though it's rolled off my back by now, it was great to see the US boosting their international hockey profile and giving the Canadians a real run for their money.

I'll also say that it was kind of liberating to be able to hate on Sidney Crosby for a couple of weeks. I defend him to just about every NHL fan, but to be perfectly honest, if he wasn't on the Penguins, I'd probably be on the "whiner" bandwagon as well. However, it's hard to by anything but happy for Sid the Kid, having lifted the weight of an entire nation on his squad's collective shoulders. But just as I was starting to feel good for him, the post-game interview came on:

"It wasn't as easy as we had expected."

Why you gotta be a dick about it, Crosby?

Tiger Woods' Non-Press-Conference Press Conference: A BDP Discussion

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF TIGER'S PRESS CONFERENCE? Was it sincere? Was it hokey and fake? Was it just six American flags short of a White House presser?

Email the show at thebeatdoctor@verizon.net and give us your take!

Brewery Beef: A BDP Discussion

First it was a movie... now it's an 82-proof beer...

On today's program, we discuss the Brewdog Brewery's latest offering, Sink the Bismarck!, an 82-proof beer that is officially the world's strongest. We asked listeners what their thoughts were on this Scottish brew, and we want to hear yours!

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BEER? Would you buy what is surely a pricey case of Sink the Bismarck? Email the show at thebeatdoctor@verizon.net and weigh in!

Will from PA writes:

"It's all about hops: HopDevil, Hop Slam, Hopsickle, Hop Wallop, Two-Hearted Ale, etc."

Tim from PA writes:

"I'm curious as to how they reach that percentage without adding some type of distilled alcohol. The most aggresive beer and wine yeasts that I'm aware of are only able to reach about 95% attenuation, and usually crap out at around 20-25% ABV. Once that level of alcohol is reached, it becomes toxic to the yeast and they either go to sleep or die. The only other way to do it is to remove water by refrigeration; the water in the solution freezes leaving behind a really strong, concentrated beer (an ice beer, or eisbock)."

Zack's brother Tim, a Pittsburgh-area homebrewer, drops some more brewing knowledge and starts a little beer-based beef:

"Definitely cool with the 40% beer. I've paid the $11 for the dogfish head 120 minute and world wide stout, but I'm pretty sure I'd pass on $20 a beer (pure extrapolation). Making this beer is probably a really poor business decision considering the global recession we're currently facing. There was a beer that came out not long ago from sam adams called Utopia that went for something like $100 a bottle that nobody bought except for pretentious a**holes.

I'm also sure this new stuff tastes like s*** and has a severe alcohol burn (is it acceptable to mix it with Coke?). As a consumer of fermented beverages I will probably pass on this beer until some dick with a credit card wants to buy me one. My recent beer purchases are based on a cost/benefit quadratic curve that was fitted using the least squares formula.

When it comes to going out with the intention of enjoying beer, I'm currently into the winter warmers. Anderson Valley's Winter Solstice is hands-down the best winter beer available. Well balanced between malt and hops with just enough alcohol kick to melt your toes after a long day shoveling snow.

In thinking about good and bad beers right now, I have to start a rant. All you brewers out there, what's with all the f***ing crystal malt? For those of you who don't know, this is the overwhelmingly cloying sweet/toffee/malty flavor that comes in beer around this time of year. Crystal is prominent in the winter, and nauseating in the summer. Inexperienced and taste-deficient brewers use this malt in too-large quantities for dark color and flavor. It sticks to your tongue and nose and makes you want to vomit when overused in a beer. BALANCE YOUR F***ING MALTS, DUMBASS!"

WHAT DO YOU THINK? Email the show at thebeatdoctor@verizon.net. On a related note, the Dogfish Head Brewery, famous for its eccentric and occasionally ass-kicking brews, is right up the road from us. We may whip out the Rolodex and see if we can finagle an special Dogfish-related guest on the program.

FREE DOWNLOAD: 'Pimpslapp'd!': A Horrifyingly-Inappropriate Valentine's Day Mix

If you're considering this mix as a last-minute Valentine's gift for your girl who loves music, I cannot stress this enough: DON'T.

Okay, so I don't want anyone to get overly offended, so let me just say first: this is intended as a joke, and there's a story behind it.

Back in the day, in high school, I had a female friend who was fairly big into feminism and women's liberation; which I'm all for. But she also wasn't above taking some good-natured ribbing about it. And it was the Golden Age of East Coast hip-hop and gangsta-rap, so my way of ribbing was generally to whip up mixtapes of the most misogynistic songs I could track down, and play them when we were hanging out or driving somewhere.

At first she would pretend to be offended, but a short time later, we're rolling down the road with her yelling "B*tches ain't sh*t but hoes and tricks!"

So that's the humorous place from whence this particular mix comes. It ranges from Too $hort to Biggie to Snoop Dogg and plenty of people you may not have even heard of before. And there are actually some positive songs here as well (for example, both of the Jeru da Damaja songs differentiate between ladies and "b*tches," a distinction many other entries here do not make).

Regardless, it's my Valentine's Day present to one and all. However, for fans of the podcast, there are no censor bleeps here... each and every song on the mix has explicit lyrics galore. So, for my father, who has been playing the podcast during his shift at the coffee shop, I CANNOT STRESS HOW INAPPROPRIATE THAT WOULD BE. And, I suppose, if you're planning on breaking up with your girl for V-Day, this would be perfect to leave in her mailbox.

Otherwise, enjoy some of the most willfully-ignorant, X-rated, misogynistic hip-hop you're likely to hear! CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD! (link will be active until Feb. 20)

• Snoop Dogg Intro

• 
Prince Paul - Dimepieces

• Quasimoto - Hydrant Game

• J. Dilla - Crushin'

• Biggie - Dreams of F***** an R&B B*****

• Thirstin Howl III - Dreams of F***** a Cartoon B****

• Jeru da Damaja - Da Bichez

• Jeru da Damaja - Me or the Papes

• Too $hort - C***tales

• Xzibit, Jayo Felony & Method Man - P**** Pop

• 2Pac - All Bout U

• Prince Paul - Beautiful Night

• Ant Banks - The Drunken Fool

• ODB - Got Your Money

• DJ Quik - Down Down Down

• Snoop Dogg - Fresh Pair of Panties

• Junior M.A.F.I.A. - We Don't Need It

• DJ Quik - I Useta Know Her

• Snoop Dogg - It Ain't No Fun

• ODB - Dog S***

• Redman - Soopermanluva, Pt. 3 (Pt. 2)

• Biggie - One More Chance

• Celly Cel - Skanlezz Azz Bytchez

• Snoop Dogg Outro

THE STORM OF 2010: 'Nobody Beats tha Blizz'

What will be the main topic of Monday's podcast?

Ohhh, I think you know...

Somalia vs. Iraq: A BDP Show Discussion

Sure, Iraq looks like this NOW, but Somalia (above, the

al-Shabab militia) looked like this for a decade before the

War on Terror even got going...

In our top news segment on today's program, we talked about Somalian militants al-Shabab declaring their allegiance to al-Qaeda, and made the case that it may have made more sense to take military action in Somalia than Iraq back in 2003.

A special thanks goes out to Phill from D.C., who wrote a detailed response, part of which we'll get into tomorrow. But in the interests of full disclosure, his full analysis is below. Take a read, listen to today's podcast, and email thebeatdoctor@verizon.net and have your say:

This article you sent me was very interesting, and it confirms the fears of all the neo-cons like myself that the terrorists are everywhere.

I don’t necessarily disagree that Iraq shouldn’t [have] been invaded, or at least the first country that American opted to begin the War on Terror with. However I’m going to play devil’s advocate and defend the decision to choose Iraq over going into Somalia.

I think the key to the argument is to understand the Bush doctrine on foreign policy post-9/11. I would recommend “Bush at War,” by Bob Woodward for a full understanding. The short description: fight preventive wars and spread democracy as a strategy to fight terror. So with this policy in mind let us go back in time. The information that came from the intelligence agencies is that Saddam was in possession of WMD’s. Little did we know the information was faulty, but if you take the administration at their word, Saddam Hussein with WMDs was a national security threat.

After 9/11 government official came up with worst case scenarios. One of those scenarios would be the use of WMD’s on U.S. soil. How realistic could it be for terrorist to acquire such weapons? This became more possible due to the fact there was an anti American dictator in the Persian Gulf with these weapons. Anti-American sentiment would be become firm after a successful strike on US soil. This would lead to a strong opportunity that terrorist could come in possession of WMD’s. This would take precedence over all matters including terrorist in Somali. Somalia would provide headaches for the administration.

First, getting the country to rally around Iraq was very easy. You had a familiar foe, the threat of WMD’s, and people who would welcome us with open arms because of the actions of a ruthless dictator. In Somalia you have no central villain, no WMDs, and no one to welcome the American liberators with arms wide open. In Iraq America would end a terrorist threat, American companies would profit , the Iraqi people would profit, we would build a democracy and gain an ally in the Middle East, it was a win for everybody. Iraq after deposing Saddam would welcome us, we would set up a government quickly, the people would embrace democracy and it would set an example and spread throughout Middle East.

Perfect in theory; execution was faulty.

We saw the support for the war deteriorate rapidly. The American people hated war after the initial “shock and awe”, the intelligence was found to be faulty and world wide support for America dropped. If we only knew. I do think that if you could go back in time and present President Bush with this information, perhaps they wouldn’t invaded Iraq. However as for going into Somalia I have my doubts, I think they would have shifted focus to Iran using the argument of WMD as the key point.

If Somalia wants to rise on the War on Terror queue, I suggest they acquire a nuke.

...gee... we were expecting to a do music podcast...!?!!

WHAT DO YOU THINK? Email the show at thebeatdoctor@verizon.net and let us know!