Oh, Baltimore...

You crack me up. No sooner did the game end than the "Shittsburgh" and "know your role, white trash" comments started cramming the Ravens' and Baltimore Sun message boards.

I love it. Because if there's anything that "The Wire" has taught us, it's that Baltimore is the shittiest city in America.

Besides, how are you gonna call Pittsburgh folks white trash when your quarterback looks like a caveman with a unibrow? UNNNNNNNGGGHH! FLACCO THROW!!! FLACCO LOSE POSSESSION!!! UNNNNGGHH!!

Listen, I have the cure for all your ills, Baltimore. Just find Terrell Suggs, take him out for a few drinks and then kill someone. It'll make you feel a a lot better, and if there's anything ELSE that "The Wire" has taught us, it's that no one will probably notice, anyway.

No, Terrell Suggs, ^$%! YOU.

"Hey Pittsburgh... we're gonna fold like a motherf*cking paper crane."

Oh dear sweet Lord, I can't really explain how satisfying it was to watch my Steelers beat the Baltimore Ravens yesterday. I'll be the first person to say that if Terrell Suggs was a Steeler, I would love him. But he's a Raven. So f*ck'im.

Maybe during the offseason, he can get a t-shirt made that shows him crying into his overapplied eyeblack. Seriously, when does caked-on eyeblack go from mildly intimidating... to makeup? Maybe we can get you a little lip gloss, too, and I'll start calling you "Terelle."

The Tacoma Narrows Bridge just called from 1940, and called that sh*t "an epic collapse."