Yet Another Reason the Swedish Chef is the Greatest Muppet of All

Special thanks to Analog Giant Blogspot for tracking this one down:

FREE DOWNLOAD! Redman Mix: 'Funk Doc vs. the Beat Doc'

Click here to download as a single MP3 (the link will likely expire on July 22):

TRACKLIST

1. Double Deuces (Madlib Mix) feat. Method Man

2. Check'n Me Out feat. Def Squad

3. Get Dirty (Beat Doctor Remix)

4. So Ruff

5. Pick It Up

6. Funkorama (Beat Doctor Remix)

7. Father's Day feat. Method Man

8. Lookin' Fly

9. Blow Your Mind

10. The Game (Beat Doctor Remix) feat. Def Squad

11. Yeah Yeah You Know It (Beat Doctor Remix) feat. Def Squad

12. Love Me Now (Doom Mix) feat. Beenie Man

13. A-Yo! feat. Method Man & Saukrates

14. A Million and 1 Buddah Spots

15. How High, Pt. 2 (Beat Doctor Remix) feat. Method Man

16. Can't Wait (Beat Doctor Remix)

17. 'NIN' Interlude

18. Soopermanluva, Pt. 3

19. We Run N.Y. feat. Hurricane Gee

This mix was created to promote Redman, and not for profit. Be sure to check out Reggie Noble 9 1/2, slated for a fall release date!

FREE DOWNLOAD: 'It's Like That' Remix

'Put the ras klaat in bumbo klaat..."

So, as I continue finishing up a mixtape of remixed and classic Redman tracks, I wanted to toss up a quick little teaser. So click here or below to download the Beat Doctor remix of Redman & K-Solo's "It's Like That (Big Brother)," from Red's '96 record Muddy Waters. I couldn't find a good spot for it on the mix, which will be uploaded shortly.

DOWNLOAD: Redman & K-Solo, "It's Like That (Beat Doctor Remix)"

Boondocks UPDATE: Holy S&^!, the 'Booty Warrior' is REAL

Look, I know it shouldn't be funny, because this man is really out there, presumably forcing himself on otherwise-innocent man-butt, but in light of the fact that it's CLEARLY the inspiration behind 'A Date with the Booty Warrior,' I just can't stop laughing. My boy in D.C., however, says he's going to have nightmares... pause.

Would You Read This Book?

So, based on the following description - which I've patterned after what you'd generally find on a book jacket - would you read this story? I've been working on a novel for a couple years now, and my recent tenuous employment situation has allowed me the time to finally wrap it up. I am editing it right now, and will be shopping it to publishers ASAP. But I'm trying to gauge potential reader interest, so let a brother know. The working title is Chupacabra:

Southern Delaware is just the right place for homicide detective Jack Trappone. He traded in hundreds of murders a year in his native Baltimore for the relatively sleepy streets of Redden Lake, where he spends his days fielding complaints about the town's illegal immigrants and occasionally catching a case. But lately, his days and nights are getting darker. A dangerous gang is making inroads into the local drug market. A strangely-dressed, badly mutilated body has turned up in the woods, and some folks in the Hispanic neighborhood think it is the work of the supposedly fictional 'chupacabra.' As he investigates the case, Jack will join the residents of Redden Lake in following the rabbit-hole deeper than they can imagine, into a terrifying new world where their nightmares are real enough to touch.

128 Oz. of Haterade: 'The War Report 2,' by Capone-N-Noreaga

Swapping camo doesn't make it fresh...

Does it matter that the cover of The War Report 2 is almost, literally, the same as the original thugged-out classic War Report record? Not really. Raekwon basically did the same thing, thinly veiling Cuban Linx II with a new cover color.

And despite the carping of cats who think it's doing a disservice to listeners to try and "remake" your classic record, it doesn't even matter to me that "Pain" and "Bodega Dreams," the first two tracks off War Report 2: Report the War (really...?), sound very similar to "Blood Money" in their use of ghostly piano.

But The War Report came out 13 years ago in '97, when metaphorical references to the Queensbridge ghetto as Iraq didn't carry quite the same type of weight that they would today. And although a hip-hop record exploring parallels between America's war and the struggle of urban youth does have some appeal, don't expect that here.

Backed by a few Scram Jones productions, a banging-but-out-of-place Buckwild track and a handful of lesser-known producers (M3, Araab Muzik, SPK, Neo da Matrix and others), most of War Report 2 consists of the type of warmed-over crime tales Nore was spinning on his solo debut. Three guest spots from Raekwon lend a little authenticity to the proceedings, and it's not like Capone and Noreaga don't have plenty of source material for their rhymes... but a meandering focus and production that recalls some of the more plasticized, hollow moments from QB mates Mobb Deep holds War Report 2 down a little.

The recastings get a little old as well. "Thug Planet" is a boring throwback to "Superthug," and I imagine if I had listened to Nore's other solo work, I would find more derivative stylings.

The final two tracks on The War Report 2, "The Corner" and "Obituary," slow things down and finally bring a little emotion to the proceedings, particularly the latter, where Nore talks about 2009 being a bad year for losing rappers and "having a phone book full of ghosts."

All told, I would give War Report 2 a B minus. Its heart is in the right place, and while you can go home again, you can't always stop your parents from turning your bedroom into a media library.

P.S. What's up with Capone's voice? He had a nice, ashy-but-smoove thing going in the original War Report. So how did his voice get higher since then? Did he have electro-shock therapy when he was locked down?

It's the Little Things That Make 'The Boondocks' So Great

"Okay, I, I see you choosin' the haaaard way..."

Even though there have been some big topics tackled on this season of The Boondocks (Obama's election, emotionally-detached children, uh... prison rape), it's still the little things that make me laugh hardest of all.

It's the little pause that the Booty Warrior (above) leaves when he's about to rape Chris Hanson: "Don't make me ruin that butt... Chris, I'm a... I'm a warrior!" It's Tom's wife interrupting his speech about "those little boy's anuses" with Riley's new trademark phrase, "Pause." It's the dance the little blonde girl does in "The Red Ball" to show she indeed does not have a "permanent, severe limp."

I also continue to marvel at the way in which many comedians are able to make rape jokes - and make them funny - so long as the subject is male rape. One of the earliest jokes I can remember is George Carlin's:

"You don't think rape is funny? I can PROVE to you that rape is funny. Picture Porky Pig... raping Elmer Fudd."

Prison rape in particular, has been the butt of many a joke - no pun intended - over the years, with shows like Oz and even the occasional casual reference in Prison Break providing a wide variety of opportunities to lampoon the "rapey" element of prison culture.

The Patrice O'Neal Show - Coming Soon! also did a two-episode run entitled, "G*ddamn F*cking Woman Elevator Rapist" which, uh, examined the phenomenon of females who rape males... in elevators.

The "little thing" in the "Booty Warrior" episode was the background chatter during the "Scared Straight" portion. From Riley muttering "Pause," "Pause again" during one con's speech, to the inmate's additions ("I raped a few n****s myself!" "He ain't like it!" "Not that much!"). The episode also served as a much better vehicle for Tom's paralyzing fear of anal rape, even though his nightmares are often much more hilarious than the actual scenarios in which he ends up.

I'm not sure what it is about male rape that allows comedians and writers to joke effectively about it. Perhaps it's just a nervous reflex when it comes to subject that, really, no man wants to think about.

Regardless, Aaron McGruder and the Boondocks crew have succeeded again, and this final season is making a good run for the title of best yet.