"Yeah, that shit is nice, but it would be SICK to hear him flowin' over a record of all Primo tracks."
And yes, in many cases, it would. But even if Primo WANTED to, he STILL wouldn't be able to find the time to make tracks for all of the heads making that wish. So without further ado, let's explore what I'd consider to be "Dream Team"-esque collab albums (by "collab albums," I mean LPs on the order of GZA and Muggs' Grandmasters... the Established MC/Established Producer Record) that will probably never, ever come out.
• Back 2 the Basics (Lyrics: GZA; production: Black Milk) - BM added a few bangers to Pro Tools, and it would be great to see that stretched out to a full-length. The "concept" song is called "About Tree Fitty," and it's another 50 Cent diss that works titles of his songs into the narrative, as well as incorporating dialogue bits from the "Loch Ness Monster" episode of South Park (hence the title).
• Iron Lung (Lyrics: Method Man; production: Madlib) - Madlib has occasionally expressed a desire to work with Wu-Tang MCs, and a lot of the eerie, more-brooding beats he's created would work very well with Meth's steez. Title track features Quasimoto.
• Where It Ain't All Fun (Lyrics: Guilty Simpson; production: Beatminerz) - True, it's been a while since I heard a Beatminerz track that really got me moving (probably the Last Emperor joint off Brace 4 Impak, and a few of the tracks off the Alter the Chemistry remix disc), but working with a commanding MC like Guilty might get Evil Dee juiced to create some bangers (and get Baby Paul to do SOMEthing... is he even a Beatminer anymore? I know they replaced someone with Chocolate Ty...). Guest appearances by Starang Wondah and Heltah Skeltah... speaking of which...
• We're Sorry About D.I.R.T., This Shit Will Be Waaaay Better (Lyrics: Heltah Skeltah; production: El-P) - My first instinct for this was to have P Brothers as the production team, but the more I think about it, the more I think I might like a collab like this. El's beats might force Ruck and Rock to expand their topic base, and doing a straight-up hip-hop record for a couple Brooklyn MCs might rein in some of El's more-experimental leanings. Guest appearances by Vast Aire and Buckshot.
• F. Baby Music - (Lyrics: Lil' Wayne; production: Dan the Automator) - Alright, Lil' Wayne... you wanna get serious about making some out-there, space-Martian shit? Stop fuckin' with Auto-Tune and Southern bounce production and get the dude who brought us Dr. Octagonecologyst and Deltron 3030. Guest appearances by Del tha Funkee Homosapien, Kool Keith and, naturally, The Hot MC of The Moment.
• The God Hour (Lyrics: Nas; production: DJ Premier) - This would finally be the solution for Nas's maddening addiction to picking crappy beats.
• Return of the Crooklyn Dodger (Lyrics: Chubb Rock; production: Prince Paul) - Go listen to "No Rubber, No Backstage Pass," off the America Is Dying Slowly (AIDS) album, and tell me you wouldn't want to hear a full-length collab with these two. Guest appearances by Biz Markie, Young MC and Grandmaster Flash.
• Perverted Monk Style - (Lyrics: Jeru the Damaja; production: P Brothers) - Nice, cold, stark beats would work nice with Jeru's flow, and it would certainly go a long way toward redeeming the crappiness of his last couple records.
• The Executive Lounge (Lyrics: Jay-Z; production: Diamond D) - I've long thought that D's beats, which have one foot firmly in the street and the other in the VIP lounge, would pair up real well with Jigga's MC style, particularly post-retirement, when he's flossing even MORE than usual. And D could do a little rapping on the record as well. Guest appearances by P. Diddy, Lil' Cease and Beanie Siegel.
• True School (Lyrics: J-Live; production: Dela) - French hip-hop producers are puttin' in some for-real work when it comes to crafting hot, jazzy beats. That's J-Live's bread and butter anyway, and off the strength of his Changes of Atmosphere record, Dela would pair up perfectly with one of my favorite MCs.
• Seen? (Lyrics: Various dancehall artists; production: Pete Rock) - On both of his solo albums, Pete Rock has produced tracks with dancehall artists, and they seem to pair up very well together. I'd love to hear a comp with him doin' beats for Busy Signal, Vybz Kartel, Aidonia, Roundhead, Major Mackrel and a bunch of other dudes no one has probably heard of.